2024 Face In The Crowd – Week 13

A FACE IN THE CROWD – WEEK 13

The Mobile FITC Command Center has been airlifted to the northeast turret of the castle on the 1000 block of Wyoming Avenue in Scranton. Sparky and I are here, hoping to get a glimpse of the scouting reports that detail how the Jesuit Giants intend to derail the train that is Lidge Kellum. The 5’10”, 170-pound superhero has taken up residence in Coach Terry Gallagher’s nightmares this week as the Cavaliers prepare to defend their 3A crown against Wyoming Area. Wearing #2, ol’ Lidge is prepared to throw the Warriors on his back, along with any elderly women who also may need transportation, and carry them across the finish line at Dunmore High School on Friday evening.

Sparky let me know that he once dreamed of attending Prep and, in fact, took the test when he was a lad. A few days after the exam, his parents received a large manila envelope from Prep. Inside was a sheet of loose-leaf paper with the word “NO” written in purple crayon. From there, Sparky’s life has spiraled into a morass of gambling, philandering, and questionable associations, present company included. But this is a title game and we need to get as close to the belly of the beast as possible.

Since this is our final work product of the high school football season, we have abridged the lessons to just two from our ordinary list of five. We are only making a prediction on the aforementioned tussle in Dunmore, since we are genuinely wishing success for all of the denizens of District 2 as they make their annual foray into the state playoffs.

We’ve had our meeting with Coach Gallagher yesterday up here in the northeast turret. I warned Sparky not to look him directly in the eye. I’m allergic to volatility and unabashed rage, so I had my EpiPen ready in case Sparky asked any dumb questions. We shared our two brief lessons in hopes of garnering some information on how a team of ordinary human teenagers could possibly stop a demigod like Lidge. When Sparky asked that humdinger, Coach Gallagher grabbed him by the throat and dangled him off the roof. All in the name of journalistic integrity. Anyway, here are the lessons for your perusal.

LESSON 1

I’m an idiot. It’s the only explanation as to why I chose Dallas to beat Valley View last week. All year long, I groused about the weakness of the Wyoming Valley Conference. All year long, I praised the Cougar coaching staff and commended their impressive winning streak that commenced after their loss to Prep. And then, I go and do some idiotic thing like giving the nod to Dallas over Coach Wasilchak’s team. And I got exactly what I deserved. Valley View preserved the honor of the LFC and perhaps gave us a glimpse of what may happen this weekend in the 3A game.

LESSON 2

Riverside and Abington Heights came through for me in their respective district championship tilts. Both used the stellar exploits of their quarterbacks. The Vikings’ Chase Taddonio lived up to his billing as the best signal caller and erstwhile Player of the Year in Division 3 of the LFC. Shawn Theodore, thrust into the spotlight by the injury to Nick Bradley, led the Comets to a breathtaking victory over Delaware Valley at the Pit. Each school has been away from the gold medal podium for a little while. Congrats to Coach Armstrong and Coach Repshis and their football teams on a job well done.

And so that brings us to the big one on Friday night, another fistfight between the two conferences. It’s Lidge and the boys against the Jesuit Giants for all the marbles. Lidge added to his already considerable legend last weekend when he rushed for a buck eighty-nine and five, yes five, touchdowns in the titanic victory in Varden over the Dub-Dub Cats. If the Warriors win, I have been contracted by my agent to compose an epic poem about Lidge. My working title is The Last American Hero. Too much? I didn’t think so either.

We couldn’t pass up this opportunity to channel our favorite deceased sportscaster, Keith Jackson. I can picture Keith in his gold blazer grinning into my television screen and hitting us with some homespun wisdom about the game that is about to begin. In describing the championship matchup between the Warriors and the Jesuit Giants, he might say, “There’s been a whole mess of hurly burly about this one and opinions aren’t worth a pig’s spit in a June storm. This one won’t be settled until the last shell is fired from the musket and Waylon Jennings gets tired of pickin’ at his banjo.” Keith most definitely said stuff like that. At least, I’d like to think he would.

We have one final prediction to make. Sparky’s entire bankroll, all $27, is riding on this one. We have had loads of fun with Lidge and the Warriors all season long. The Warriors have a championship pedigree and have not lost since September 6^th on their first junket to Varden. That is a long, long time ago. But Coach Gallagher, all kidding aside, built a schedule to test his charges, a gauntlet that included contests with Loyola Blakefield, Canisius High School, and Jersey Shore. The Cavs ran roughshod over Division 1 of the LFC, including a 33-0 whitewashing of Valley View in Week 1, the most impressive win chalked up by any District 2 squad all season long. For those who followed my rambling all year long, you know that the Jesuit Giants have never moved from the top of the heap in the Power 5. And so they shall continue to stand as the bullies on the block.

Expect some heroics from Lidge. Expect a well-coached, intense football game, one worthy of two schools with great pride and tradition. Expect the gold medals and the district trophy to reside at 1000 Wyoming Avenue for another season. Sorry, Lidge. Business is business.

THE FINAL POWER 5 – our list of the top five football teams in District 2, regardless of record, classification, or political affiliation.